One of the most common comments I get from people who have used Attracting Greatness to help them grow their self-confidence and self-esteem is how relieved they are to be finally in control of their own emotions unlike in the past when their sense of self-confidence was up and down like a rollercoaster. Even worse, most of us allow our own sense of confidence to be completely controlled by outside people or situations.
Does these situations sound familiar?
- You have been on top of the world when someone you really like affirms that they like you too…suddenly your world is a happy, euphoric, excellent place to be. But then, just one snub, change of heart or situation where that friend no longer affirms you and you come crashing down to an amazing depth of despair…sure sounds like a roller coaster doesn’t it?
- What about school or you career – you have a good day, you get a good mark or a teacher is especially connected with you one day, you get a raise or get promoted and your overall self-confidence is sky-high – but then the very next day reality can set in and you can have a horrible day where you just aren’t getting it, you get a poor mark or your boss treats you like crap…again, that self-confidence roller-coaster
- What about parenting…you can’t tell me there are days when you are on top of the world and other days when you question your very decision to be a parent which leads to more guilt and low self-confidence
There are two things (at least) wrong with this reality of being on a self-confidence roller-coaster:
1. Your self-confidence impacts your emotions which impacts how you interact with the world and how productive you are, etc…The roller-coaster prevents you from being all that you can be…period!
2. The self-confidence roller-coaster is completely controlled by factors outside of you…your friends, lovers, teachers, managers, or even complete strangers. In other words, people and situations outside of you are pulling your strings. Humans cannot thrive (and only barely survive) in situations where they feel they have little or no control, we want to work to regain control over our own sense of self-confidence.
Three Steps To Taking Back Control Of Your Self-Confidence
1. Get Your Confidence From Withing. Take a look at your life, know that most of us get much of our self-esteem/self-confidence from external things (especially relationships when the source of your confidence MUST come from within to be truly effective. When you continue to allow your sense of self-esteem and level of self confidence to be controlled by those around you, you are constructing/maintaining a life where you are continually letting other people and situations control your emotions, feelings, health and happiness…not a great way to have it.
2. Combat Destructive Inner Self-Talk – Work each day on a “what’s great about me” list…specifically those things you feel you are good at, examples of where you have helped people or made a difference for someone (even the smallest things). The idea is to spend time each day countering the negative self-talk and imagery that results in “being down” or being depressed by training your mind to focus on the positives that you know exist
3. Understand that fundamentally your attitude, your feelings about yourself are exactly what lead others to want to be with you…once you come to terms with that thought, you link your ability to attract people directly to the effort you put in on solidifying your own self-concept then typically this becomes a whole lot easier and more natural
By understanding that your current sense of self-confidence is largely externally controlled, knowing how destructive continuing to live like that can be and through introspection and daily regime’s to boost your own self confidence from within you will have finally said enough of the roller-coaster finally being free to set your own feelings of self-worth and confidence.
Let us know your questions, comments and results by posting a comment…what are you doing to get off the self-confidence roller-coaster?
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